Save the tah tahs!!

So gross...

Diastasis Recti 101

I was told to get into the Doctor's office today ASAP because it felt like I was having a very normal Braxton Hicks contraction for the past couple of days. Braxton Hicks can begin at 6 weeks and last your entire pregnancy. I wasn't in any kind of pain, it just felt like cement on my stomach hardened immediately when I stood up. Again, no pain at all it just felt really weird.

My OB asked where the source of the "discomfort" was and I showed him my upper belly from couple of inches below my boobs and one inch below my belly button. He lit up and said he knew what was going on. Then I got a life lesson on one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard or seen before.

Diastasis Recti or separated muscles.

Separation of the stomach muscles is very common during pregnancy, particularly during the later trimesters. During pregnancy, many women experience a separation of their stomach muscles. Known as diastasis recti, this condition occurs when the main abdominal muscles begin to pull apart. The left and right sides of this muscle separate, leaving a gap in between.

It appears that due to my Diastasis Recti, my Colon comes through the gap in my abdominal muscles (shudder) when I am extremely gassy (which is all the time) and stand up, hence the "discomfort" I have been feeling the past couple of days.

To show me how this works, my OB had me lay flat and slowly sit up as if I were doing a crunch. My friends, what appears to be the top of a roof began to appear in my abs that almost formed a perfect triangle. It was so gross. Of course, I made Todd look at it and he had the same reaction I had.

Eventually the muscles will go back to where they are supposed to after the baby is born, THANK THE LORD

Well, I must say that Baby Benzin is worth all the "ewwwwws" and shudders. I can't wait to hold our little dancer. He or she is already bringing the house down.

Awww shucks...

Thank you, MEG!!! My college buddy Meg, the author behind "Lawyers Do Not Eat Their Young" is caring, wonderful and I adore her. Meg and I have known each other for at least 10 years??? WOW! She is an exceptional human being with a heart of gold, and she is carrying some super sweet twins. I love that we have reconnected and that she is my yoga buddy. Hugs and kisses to her.

The award is accompanied by a meme, which must be answered in one word responses. Here goes

1. Where is your cell phone? Charging

2. Where is your significant other? Rehearsal

3. Your hair color? Brown

4. Your mother? Spunky

5. Your father? Absent

6. Your favorite thing? Cuddles

7. Your dream last night? Forgettable

8. Your dream/goal? Happiness

9. The room you're in? Dark

10. Your hobby? Knitting

11. Your fear? Spiders

12. Where do you want to be in six years? Here

13. Where were you last night? Bed

14. What you're not? Coward

15. One of your wish list items? Health

16. Where you grew up? Grand Island (I know, I cheated)

17. The last thing you did? Grey's

18. What are you wearing? Sweats

19. Your T.V.? Off

20. Your Pets? Sleeping

21. Your computer? Dell

22. Your mood? Relaxed

23. Missing someone? Todd

24. Your car? Scion

25. Something you're not wearing? Shoes

26. Favorite store? Gap

27. Your Summer? Amazing

28. Love someone? Yep

29. Your favorite color? Black

30. When is the last time you laughed? Recently

31. When was the last time you cried? Unknown

And now...the I heart your blog goes to:

WHOEVER wants to respond. I hate assigning homework. Have fun!

21 weeks and 3 days...

My very dear friend Michael Walline is a photographer who has such a knack for the art and for actor headshots. Today he took some pictures for pregnancy posterity in Forest Lawn Cemetery. They turned out so beautiful. Thanks Michael!!

Baby Benzin now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long - the length of a carrot. In other developments, Baby Benzin's eyebrows and lids are present now, and IF we are having a girl, her vagina has begun to form as well.

21 weeks 3 days down, 18 weeks 4 days to go!!

Charmagne gives me good Chi...

My friend and talented colleague Charmagne sent me an e-card today that made me smile.

I adore her.

Thanks Charmagne!!

20 weeks and 3 days

Since we have a bunch of out of town family members who won't see me pregnant, here is a current photo. Please, snicker quietly.

Baby Benzin baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He or she is also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bum bum and about 10 inches from head to heel - about the length of a banana. He or she is swallowing more these days, which is good practice for the digestive system. Baby Benzin is also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in the bowels, and you'll see it in the first soiled diaper.

Joy of joys. Sticky, gooey poop.

One day I will find all of this HILARIOUS!

People say some really stupid crap to you when you are pregnant and these individuals think saying these things are ok. For example, these are just a taste of what I have gotten:

"You're huge!!"
"I wasn't that big when I was 3 months pregnant. I wasn't even that big when I was 7 months pregnant!"
"Your belly is enormous!"

THESE THINGS ARE NOT OK TO SAY. I don't go up to overweight people and say, "Wow you're really fat" and I certainly don't go up to older people and say, "You're really old and wrinkly!" So why do these individuals think it is ok to tell a pregnant woman how huge she is?? Todd's theory is that they know it is all baby and assume you will take their comments as such. NO. We don't. We hear what you are saying and find it insulting.

Don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy to be growing. It means my baby is doing well and thriving. I have no control over my body and the changes that are happening. I am quite aware, believe it or not, at how my quickly my belly is growing. You don't have to tell me. Next time anyone says it I am going to state an obvious fact about them and see how nice it sounds.

Time and Setting: This evening at our favorite Korean restaurant. Who: Nicest hostess in the world.
This was our conversation:

Her: "Wow, almost time huh?"
Me: "No, 4 more months."
Puzzled, horrified look comes over her face.
Her: "WOW! You look big, don't eat so much!!"

Wow. WOW WOW WOWIE WOW WOW.

People, this is not ok. Have a little couth and think before you speak.

I will post a 20 week picture tomorrow. The nicest Korean woman in the world thinks I look like this:

Are you serious??

So I see an article on Yahoo that Eva Longoria gained 7 whole pounds this summer!! OH NOOO! She went from weighing 90 to 97! That must really suck. Somehow she gained 7 pounds and is still able to get her ass in a size 0. The title of the article I read was 'The "Desperate Housewife" defends her "rounder" figure, shows off curves in photos.' So I figured I would look at the picture and expected to see a ROUNDER Eva Longoria. Yeah. Ok.

THIS IS ROUNDER?? This is 7 pounds gained?? People thought she was pregnant from looking at these photos?? I quote my best friend Lou when I say, WTF??

Catch Phrase makes people funny...

A bunch of us played a few rounds of Catch Phrase yesterday and I laughed so hard I was pretty sure I was going into labor. Basically, it is an electronic "hot potato" game. You have a word or phrase that you have to get your team to say without saying any words in the actual answer AND you need to get it done before the buzzer goes off. Hilarity ensues:

Me: Little Italian guy in Goodfella's. (I said Goodfellow's, but the buzzer was about to go off, give me a break.)
Susan: Joe Pesci.
Me: Last name?
Susan: Pesci.
Me: Not a fog but a watery light...
Chris: Mist.
Me: Put it together.
Doug: Pesci-mist??
Kristy: Pessimist?
Me: MORE!
Doug: Pessimistic?
Amazing.

Dave: When you are addicted to something you are an?

Marc: Addict.

Dave: Right.

Marc: (thinking he just said the word) DAVE!!

Dave: No, no. When you are addicted to brown stuff.

Marc: Chocoholic?

Dave: YES!

Brown stuff?? Oh my goodness. I just about lost my mind.

Me: Jesus's Father?
Susan: God.
Me: Not whole but...
Doug: Half.
Me: Marc thought he had this infection?
Doug: MRSA.
Me: Put it together!
All: God half MRSA?
Kristy: God Have Mercy!

Almost peed.

19 weeks!!!

We are just one week away from being at the half-way mark. Todd and I decided to start documenting the belly growth starting next week, so there will be embarassing photos to come.

According to our weekly "How your baby's growing" emails:

Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom about the size of a large heirloom tomato (shown below next to a quarter). His/Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. His/Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on his/her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on his/her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

Yummy. Tomato, Vernix Caseosa and Pickling.

Baby Benzin Update!!!

Hi everyone!! Todd and I just got home from our 18 week ultrasound and everything looks wonderful. Baby Benzin is healthy and adorable and kicking like a superfreak! Although the technician waited as long as she could, Baby Benzin was NOT cooperating and did not turn on his or her back so we have no profile images to share this time. However, here are some of the shots the technician was able to capture. Enjoy!

Face:

Laying on his or her stomach:
Face with body:

Hey George, lay off...