Thursday, June 22, 2006

When you have nothing better to do...

Go to http://babelfish.altavista.com/ and you can type anything and translate it to your chosen language. Now as to WHY Todd and I were doing this in the first place, well we are idiots. But REALLY I was trying to translate some things that I saw on an Italian website (www.fiat.it). So we started with something simple:

How are you doing today? = Come state facendo oggi?

NOW if you translate the Italian BACK to English:

Come state facendo oggi? = How been making today?

See? Funny. The idiot in both of us made it impossible NOT to type in dirty things. Then it got REALLY funny.

Are your balls itchy? = Sono le vostre sfere itchy? = They are your spheres itchy?

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me. = Siedasi sulla mia faccia e dicami che lo amiate. = One is based on my face and says to me that you love it.

My personal favorite...

Your nipples are hard. = I vostri ugelli sono duri. = Your nozzles are hard.

Nozzles and spheres. Just classic.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Weird...

I am officially 30. I went to myspace and there it was on my profile. THAT was weird.

PS - Garvey and I ran through the sprinklers at the Niagara Falls Country Clubs 15th hole during my drunken and glorious birthday party. That was pure beautiful brilliance.



Monday, June 19, 2006

Garvey was right...

I LOOOOVED Chicago! We were only there from Sunday until Monday but I had a blast. I did not bring my camera with me, so you will all just have to deal with some highlights. I promise to be more of a dork with Disney.

At breakfast Mr. Benzin ordered pancakes with some type of berry on them.
Mrs. Benzin said, "Does anyone want some of his pancakes with dingle berries?"

At Amanda's dance performance the program had songs listed that the dancers performed to with who wrote and/or sang them. You Can't Always Get What You Want was performed by ummm, McJagger?

At dinner (The Cheesecake Factory) we were all stuffing our faces when Todd said, "Leave room for cheesecake." His sister Amanda thought he said "Save room for Jesus."

In the car there was a bug that Todd killed by rolling up a program (the McJagger program) and smacking it. It bounced back and hit Todd in the forehead. We looked for the bug everywhere but it was nowhere to be found. When we were leaving the Cheesecake Factory I grabbed Mr. Benzin laughing hysterically. The bug was flat as a board and all over Todd's ass.

Aaahhhhhh... good times.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Almost to the top of the hill...

So this is it. I am on the fast track to 30 and I am actually dealing with it pretty well. I am happy, and healthy and I have a couple of great weeks ahead of me. I am sensing though that my body is sending me reminders and most of it is NOT pleasant. For example...
I threw my back out during Urinetown and had to perform Little Sally like an old 10 year old child. I was hunched over and in a shit load of pain BUT I am healed and ALL better. Then the headaches started. I used to get migraines as a teenager but they only come once in a great while these days. Nope, not anymore. The 30 alarm goes off and I remember that I am almost a petrified turd. Now it is this biting my tongue when I sleep. I bite it so hard I can't talk the next day. I sound (to myself) like I have a really bad speech impediment. Then it is sore for days afterwards and I just keep biting it. Ugh. Look, even if they have to wheel me into Disney on a GURNEY I am getting on all of those rides. Bring it on 30... bring it on.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The Omen

In honor of the fact that The Omen with Gregory Peck and Lee Remick opened the year I was born, I went to go see it yesterday (6-6-06). Kristen, Ray, Todd and I sat patiently in a room of 18-21 year olds just talking about the original and how we had high hopes for this one because of the cast. Then the sound went out. It was just commercials, but there was no sound. 1st Omen. The 18-21 year olds all starting screaming things like "sound check" and "you broke it"! Whatever. I mumbled my typical "shut the f@*$ up" and went on chatting with the group. Then the sound came back on. The screams of "thank you" and "it's about time" rang from the young folks behind us and the previews began. MIAMI VICE AGAIN. Then the previews slid right off the screen and onto the curtain below. A-HA! 2nd Omen. The previews stopped. Amazingly, not one person spoke. We all just sat waiting for Miami F-ing Vice preview*. Finally it came back on and it seemed as though we were ready... finally. Not quite. During a scene with Julia Stiles, Liev Schreiber, and Mia Farrow the screen moved again. THIS time it went UP. 3rd Omen. Poor Lievs head was in the ceiling. I could hear people yelling about it in the projection booth. They eventually fixed it, and the movie went on. Then, the most glorious and worst thing... during the scene where Liev goes to Julias shrink, there in plain view is the boom microphone. Hanging above their heads. I half expected to see the guy holding it, that is how much of it was showing! I could see out of the corner of my eye that everyone in my group (including me) was laughing but how could that be??? It showed up in that scene quite a few times, and in 3-4 other scenes. 4th Omen. Todd was expecting the camera man to be in the shot and then run around the corner. It was hysterical. I am sure it was there because of the movie projector problems BUT if anyone else sees this movie... watch out for Simon Firsht or Martin Lonek. These two boys are the Boom Microphone Ops for this movie. It is their BIG BREAK!

*I think Miami Vice looks like a decent movie, but I have seen this trailer for the past 4 movies. I am sick of it. That is all.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Cannot WAIT!!!

16 days until my party...
17 days until my birthday...
18 days until Todd and I go to Chicago...
25 days until Todd and I go to Disney World...

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...