For Once In My Life...

Some of you may not know yet, so if this is how you are finding out I am sorry!! It has been a whirlwind of emotions and I couldn't be happier.

Todd and I are getting married! It was the most romantic proposal...ever.

We were both disappointed this year that I had rehearsal on Valentines Day, because last year I spent Valentine's day stuck in an airport in Atlanta. We had reservations for dinner at Billy Ogden's, but because of the delay we ended up eating Wendy's instead.

This year, I had to be at rehearsal from 6:30 p.m. until 10:30 p.m. so Todd made me dinner beforehand, sent me flowers at work, and told me he would give me my other gift when I got home.

After rehearsal was over, Chris Cavanagh called me into the hallway and handed me a red music note. Written on it was, "Follow 8 notes like this to your whole Valentine!" I looked down the hallway, and it was dotted with the red notes. P.S. - No clue at this point.

#1: "If music be the food of love, play on! Give me excess of it..."

#2: "Summertime, time, time, Child the living's easy..."

#3: "I hear the train a-comin! It's rollin' round the bend."

#4: "Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song, You right me when I'm wrong - Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you."

#5: "When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. When you wish upon a star as dreamers do."

#6: "It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, and I'm feeling good."

#7: "You may say I'm a dreamer, 'cause it's written on my butt." (tattoo joke)

#8: "I don't get many things right the first time, in fact, I'm told that a lot. Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls brought me here. And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it everyday, and I know that I am...the luckiest."

At this point I heard a song coming from the Lobby. For Once in My Life from the Tony Bennett Duets album. I peeked around the corner as the red notes took me all the way down the stairs, and Todd was in there in a suit... with a bottle of champagne. P.S. - still no clue at this point.

I gave him a kiss and thanked him for doing this. I know he was disappointed we couldn't go out for dinner, so I thought he was trying to "make it up to me." He said, "I told my Mother that I loved you today." He got down on one knee (yeah, I got it at that point) and said, "Make me the man of your dreams. Will you marry me?"

All I could say, well scream actually was YES YES YES YES!! I couldn't cry because of how shocked I was. I find out EVERYTHING! How did he slip by me? How did I not know about this? He told me that he got blessings from my Mother and my Grandparents. He went to my Mother and my Grandparent's house and asked them if he had their blessing to marry me. I mean, really? Then the tears started. Apparently my Grandfather thought he was coming over to borrow a "couple grand." Todd told me to run upstairs and get everyone. I almost forgot! Lou and Marc came down with Chris, Randy, Kathy and Michael and we had champagne. Todd said he picked the song because once when we were playing the IPOD Game (when you ask questions on shuffle, and the song is the answer), that song came on when my question was, what song will Todd propose to me to? I had completely forgot about it. It was amazing.

So, there you have it. For the ladies, it is a round cut diamond, white gold, and there are 10 diamonds along the band. It is SPARKLY! I am very proud of him, he did fantastic.

So, after what has been a very rough year so far, Todd managed to make it brighter.

"For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of. Long before I knew someone warm like you would make my dream come true."

To my Valentine...

Dear Santa...

Please send me 2 tickets for this.

Love and kisses,

Michele

Good days, bad days...

So, one of my close friends, Julie Burdick passed away a couple of weeks ago and I am dealing with it like everyone else. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. I am finding that there are days that are great. I smile, I laugh, I am getting back to normal, I think. Then there are days like today. I want to curl up into a ball and sleep so I don't have to think about it anymore.

I went back to my apartment in the City of Buffalo, and my roommate Lou had found a birthday card from Jules for me. It was a typical card, like the one I found a week ago from Christmas time. A quote on the left, a sticker, a shooting star that she drew, and a loving send off. I love finding items from her. It gives me something to hold on to. It seems like sometimes the memory of her is just not enough. I want something that I can feel and touch. She bought me a pitcher with butterflies painted on it, and a silver tray both which I will treasure for the rest of my life. My heart aches when I think about the fact that she is gone. It amazes me. I look at her picture and I forget for a moment that it had even happened. Those are great moments, until time catches up with me.

After her death, I thought it would be a good idea to talk to a Grief Counselor. I was going through the typical stages of grief but she is the first close friend of mine to pass away and I wanted to chat about it with someone who could help. So, I call this company in Buffalo, NY that came highly recommended from a Nurse in my Mother's company. The woman on the phone was very nice. She asked me about my insurance information, why I needed to talk to someone, stuff like that. She told me that she would call me in 2 business days to let me know what my co-pay was going to be. 2 days? Really? Did I mention I was grieving? 3, count them 3 days go by and the nice lady calls me back. It would be 15$ to sit with my Counselor and talk about the pain I was feeling. However my Counselor is not available to see me until March 14Th. I laughed, politely said thank you, accepted my appointment and hung up. Again, did I mention I was grieving?

So, I bought a book in the mean time. It is called Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. For my own sanity, I needed to do something. So once my book is delivered, I will read it, let it sink in, and pass it on to someone else who may need it.

I am going to end this depressing post (sorry about that) with the quote that Julie wrote in my birthday card:

"Keep true to the dreams of thy youth."
Friedrich von Schiller

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