Good days, bad days...
So, one of my close friends, Julie Burdick passed away a couple of weeks ago and I am dealing with it like everyone else. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. I am finding that there are days that are great. I smile, I laugh, I am getting back to normal, I think. Then there are days like today. I want to curl up into a ball and sleep so I don't have to think about it anymore.
I went back to my apartment in the City of Buffalo, and my roommate Lou had found a birthday card from Jules for me. It was a typical card, like the one I found a week ago from Christmas time. A quote on the left, a sticker, a shooting star that she drew, and a loving send off. I love finding items from her. It gives me something to hold on to. It seems like sometimes the memory of her is just not enough. I want something that I can feel and touch. She bought me a pitcher with butterflies painted on it, and a silver tray both which I will treasure for the rest of my life. My heart aches when I think about the fact that she is gone. It amazes me. I look at her picture and I forget for a moment that it had even happened. Those are great moments, until time catches up with me.
After her death, I thought it would be a good idea to talk to a Grief Counselor. I was going through the typical stages of grief but she is the first close friend of mine to pass away and I wanted to chat about it with someone who could help. So, I call this company in Buffalo, NY that came highly recommended from a Nurse in my Mother's company. The woman on the phone was very nice. She asked me about my insurance information, why I needed to talk to someone, stuff like that. She told me that she would call me in 2 business days to let me know what my co-pay was going to be. 2 days? Really? Did I mention I was grieving? 3, count them 3 days go by and the nice lady calls me back. It would be 15$ to sit with my Counselor and talk about the pain I was feeling. However my Counselor is not available to see me until March 14Th. I laughed, politely said thank you, accepted my appointment and hung up. Again, did I mention I was grieving?
So, I bought a book in the mean time. It is called Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. For my own sanity, I needed to do something. So once my book is delivered, I will read it, let it sink in, and pass it on to someone else who may need it.
I am going to end this depressing post (sorry about that) with the quote that Julie wrote in my birthday card:
"Keep true to the dreams of thy youth."
Friedrich von Schiller
I went back to my apartment in the City of Buffalo, and my roommate Lou had found a birthday card from Jules for me. It was a typical card, like the one I found a week ago from Christmas time. A quote on the left, a sticker, a shooting star that she drew, and a loving send off. I love finding items from her. It gives me something to hold on to. It seems like sometimes the memory of her is just not enough. I want something that I can feel and touch. She bought me a pitcher with butterflies painted on it, and a silver tray both which I will treasure for the rest of my life. My heart aches when I think about the fact that she is gone. It amazes me. I look at her picture and I forget for a moment that it had even happened. Those are great moments, until time catches up with me.
After her death, I thought it would be a good idea to talk to a Grief Counselor. I was going through the typical stages of grief but she is the first close friend of mine to pass away and I wanted to chat about it with someone who could help. So, I call this company in Buffalo, NY that came highly recommended from a Nurse in my Mother's company. The woman on the phone was very nice. She asked me about my insurance information, why I needed to talk to someone, stuff like that. She told me that she would call me in 2 business days to let me know what my co-pay was going to be. 2 days? Really? Did I mention I was grieving? 3, count them 3 days go by and the nice lady calls me back. It would be 15$ to sit with my Counselor and talk about the pain I was feeling. However my Counselor is not available to see me until March 14Th. I laughed, politely said thank you, accepted my appointment and hung up. Again, did I mention I was grieving?
So, I bought a book in the mean time. It is called Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. For my own sanity, I needed to do something. So once my book is delivered, I will read it, let it sink in, and pass it on to someone else who may need it.
I am going to end this depressing post (sorry about that) with the quote that Julie wrote in my birthday card:
"Keep true to the dreams of thy youth."
Friedrich von Schiller
posted by Michele at 4:06 PM
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