You know you are Italian if...
- You have relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe
- You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
- When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
- When you were growing up, you thought all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs
- If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
- There were more than 28 people in your wedding party
- Your grandfather had a fig tree
- You've always wanted a red Ferrari
- When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli
- Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
- Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima
- You own a Nat Nast shirt, just like the one Tony Soprano wears
- Connie Francis songs makes you cry
- At least five of your cousins are named after your grandfather
- A high school diploma and one year of community college has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts
- At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
- You have at least one sister or sister-in-law who went to Beauty School
- You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
- You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
- You know all the words to “That’s Amore”
- When you were growing up your father had a plastic statue of Jesus (the one with him pointing to his heart) on the dashboard of his car
- You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”
- You’ve been to the Vatican at least once
- For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
- When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel
- You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"
- Your mom's meatballs are the best!