You know you are Italian if...

1. You have relatives named either Joe or Mary, and you have at least one brother named Joe
2. You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
3. When you were growing up, you had five cousins all living on the same street
4. When you were growing up, you thought all wine was red and that it only came in gallon jugs
5. If someone in your family grows beyond 6’ 2”, it’s presumed that the mother had an affair
6. There were more than 28 people in your wedding party
7. Your grandfather had a fig tree
8. You've always wanted a red Ferrari
9. When you were growing up, you ate Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m., and on Thanksgiving, your family’s first course was Ravioli
10. Your big family gatherings were held in your garage
11. Your favorite movie is the “Godfather”, your favorite television show is “The Sopranos”, and your favorite singers are (in order) Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Jerry Vale, and Louis Prima
12. You own a Nat Nast shirt, just like the one Tony Soprano wears
13. Connie Francis songs makes you cry
14. At least five of your cousins are named after your grandfather
15. A high school diploma and one year of community college has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts
16. At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
17. You have at least one sister or sister-in-law who went to Beauty School
18. You’ve been hit with a spoon and/or you’ve been hit by a nun
19. You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
20. You know all the words to “That’s Amore”
21. When you were growing up your father had a plastic statue of Jesus (the one with him pointing to his heart) on the dashboard of his car
22. You’re wife or husband wears a tee shirt that says “Pray for me, I married an Italian.”
23. You’ve been to the Vatican at least once
24. For a short time while you were growing up, you wanted to be a priest or a nun
25. When you were growing up, you thought Jesus was an Italian who lived in Israel
26. You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy"
27. Your mom's meatballs are the best!