Great movie pregnancy quotes...

"Where do babies come from?"
"Where do you think they come from?"
"Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby."
"That's exactly right."

Knocked Up

"Sam! My water broke!"
"Well, we'll get you another one!"

"I've got it! Nurse, call the Anesthesiologist, this woman needs an enema!
"An enema?"
"No, uh, she needs a pedicure!"
"This ain't no goddam beauty parlor!"
"Epitath!?"
"She's not dead, you moron!"
"Epidermus... Uh..."
"Epidural, asshole!"

9 Months

"Ow, ow, fuckity-ow! Bren, when do I get that spinal tap thing?"
"It's called a spinal block. And you can't have it yet, honey. The doctor said you're not dilated enough."
"You mean I have to wait for it to get worse? Why can't they just give it to me now?"
"Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream."

"Can I use the facilities? Because being pregnant makes me pee like Seabiscuit."

"You're pregnant?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry... And if it is any consolation I have heartburn that is radiating in my knee caps and I haven't taken a dump since like Wednesday... morning!"

Juno

"It's weird, isn't it? You spend the first nine months trying to get out and the rest of your life trying to get back in."

"Look, you gotta use Lamaze. It works. My sister-in-law used it. You don't use drugs, and it's better for the kid."
"You know, the only people who say stupid things like that are men, because they're idiots!"

"I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn't drive the kids crazy."

Look Who's Talking