I went into Wilson Farms, to buy me some grub. I saw him across the way buying a turkey sub...
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Silent Night, I'll Be Home For Christmas and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. These are just some of my favorite classic Christmas Tunes that I could listen to all day and night (following Thanksgiving only of course). What happened? Why do people feel the need to write NEW Christmas songs? It all started with Dear Mister Jesus. DEAR GOD! How does a child being beaten to death by her parents get us into that holiday spirit? Then we got Christmas Shoes and that HORRIBLY depressing 'Twas Was The Night Before Christmas in Iraq song. The Christmas Spirit, as taught by Charlie Brown and the rest of those adorable Peanuts Gang is as follows:
This rant does have a point.
Todd and I were on our way home when a NEW Christmas song, or at least new to us, came on the radio. We thought it was a joke. It wasn't. This ridiculous awful song is called Same Auld Lang Syne. It has to be the WORST song I have ever heard in my life. I hate to bore you with ALL of the lyrics, but you really need to see these to believe it. Enjoy!
Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling christmas eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve
She didnt recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried.
We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totalled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged.
We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldnt find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car.
**Note - At this point Todd pointed out how strange it was that the GROCERY STORE and LIQUOR STORE was open, but not THE BAR???
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
She said shed married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have liked to say she loved the man
But she didnt like to lie.
I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasnt sure if I saw
Doubt or gratitude.
She said she saw me in the record stores
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Reliving in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne...
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away.
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain --
Did you just get the chills with the love and warmth of the Christmas Spirit? Yeah, I thought so.
This rant does have a point.
Todd and I were on our way home when a NEW Christmas song, or at least new to us, came on the radio. We thought it was a joke. It wasn't. This ridiculous awful song is called Same Auld Lang Syne. It has to be the WORST song I have ever heard in my life. I hate to bore you with ALL of the lyrics, but you really need to see these to believe it. Enjoy!
Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling christmas eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve
She didnt recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried.
We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totalled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged.
We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldnt find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car.
**Note - At this point Todd pointed out how strange it was that the GROCERY STORE and LIQUOR STORE was open, but not THE BAR???
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
She said shed married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have liked to say she loved the man
But she didnt like to lie.
I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasnt sure if I saw
Doubt or gratitude.
She said she saw me in the record stores
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Reliving in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne...
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away.
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain --
Did you just get the chills with the love and warmth of the Christmas Spirit? Yeah, I thought so.
posted by Michele at 6:24 PM
7 Comments:
That song always makes me cry. Really.
It made me cry too. But for a different reason.
You are too funny, daughter.
Jack said to tell you that he really likes the song too.
Wow. Those lyrics are horrible! I have to say, the songs about sad little kids are way worse -- I have change the channel when they come on. So.fricking.sad.
Some questions from the peanut gallery...
1) As we get older, do our eyes change color?
2) Do Christmas songs that promote a) emotional affairs of the heart and b) DWI really constitute being a "Christmas tune"?
3) How do you drink toast?
Dear Peanut Gallery:
1) As we get older, do our eyes change color?
It appears they do! I hope mine go all David Bowie with one green and one blue and really confuse all my old boyfriends.
2) Do Christmas songs that promote a) emotional affairs of the heart and b) DWI really constitute being a "Christmas tune"?
Emotional affairs of the heart? No. DWI'S? ABSOLUTELY! Nothing says Happy Birthday Jesus like a 6 pack and a ride around town.
3) How do you drink toast?
Insert bread in toaster and toast until golden brown. Insert toast in blender with liquid of choice, in this case beer? Put mixture in frosty mug and drink. Have a friend nearby to hold your hair or tie back when you puke.
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