Michele needs...

Put "(your name) needs" with the quotations into a google search, and you get some funny shite. Here is the cream of the crop:

1. Michele needs to create names for her imaginary friends.
2. Michele needs an education on the anti-christ.
3. Michele needs to learn to be more careful with her Voodoo.
4. Michele needs to interrupt Jim.
5. Michele needs a foot rub.
6. Michele needs an hour of "time out".
7. Michele needs help with portion control.
8. Michele needs to reconsider her hurtful attitude in an age of diversity, enlightenment, and lengthening life spans.
9. Michele needs to get smacked.
10. Michele needs to hire a Goon.
11. Michele needs people to play with it too.
12. Michele needs to know what she can eat that would satisfy her craving for cookies.
13. Michele needs to work with a very upset and scared five year old Siamese cat.
14. Michele needs to stop with this shit.
15. Michele needs to rub Jeff's nose in the mess he made on the carpet.
16. Michele needs to hook up with with some french guest from the inn.
17. Michele needs to lay off the crack and eat a few double cheesburgers.
18. Michele needs a ridiculous amount of Star Trek in her life.
19. Michele needs 26 Bunnies.
20. Michele needs hard sex and has a total fun-loving cooch.