Death dreams.
I am not sure why, but in the past week I have had dreams about my own death. The first dream I was in a torture press, and could feel every bit of that damn thing crushing me. The second one was just last night. It was the strangest damn dream. It completely made sense in my head, and yet thinking about it now, it is so weird. Here we go... I am going to just type what I remember so forgive spelling and grammer boo-boo's. Ok, from what I can remember:
We all had numbers. Not sequentially, just numbers. We got these numbers from these people (women I think) who asked if you wanted to go, then gave you these numbers. There were beds (they looked like massage tables) and huge lights above them in the ceiling, that actually kept going off and on and confusing the women who were giving us the tickets. Some of our family were there. Some of them were crying, others were supportive and smiling. If your number was called, there was light applause. You laid on the table and the women touched your shoulders and spoke words. The women were dressed in these lord of the rings hooded capes. After this short ceremony around your bed, your body shriveled up like a small statue, they wrapped you in something white, and if your family requested you could be given to them as a remembrance. Otherwise, you were thrown in the garbage. At this point, I decide I am not ready for this. I don't want to be thrown in the trash. I tell my friends I am leaving. Then I see Norm. He is laying on the table joking about how he just smoked a huge bowl, and it is interfering with his "treatment". I walk outside to see if I can see anyone I know, and it looks like an amusement park, or festival. People seem to be completely unaware that inside this building, people were killing themselves. But it didn't feel scary. It felt completely normal. I was mad that people were being thrown out, but we all had the choice to go or not go. After seeing Norm being handed off to his Mother, along with other of his belongings (which I cannot remember what they were, but I think water glasses were some of them) I decided to go. All of my friends had gone. I would go to. The head woman handed me a transcript of Norm's passing. They record your experience and allow family to listen if they wish. It is not your suffering, it is them relaying what happened with a soft voice. She had said that Norm fought it. His eyes would open and close, he was smiling. Then he called out for Jesus, said something about Debbie and it was over. My number is called. I don't remember being scared, or the experience at all. I just remember afterwards the room still looked the same, it just looked fuzzy. I saw the woman again. She told me to find my friends. I would have to walk to the other side of the room and find the tunnel that would lead me to them. I found these strange display cases (no idea what was in them), and then found a grate. I opened it and I heard noises. It sounded like people having sex. I get into the main area and I am in some strange fun house. Above me are animatronics having sex, and just a lot of weird funky shit around me. I looked in every room for my friends. I felt like they were there, but every room scared me. There was a bathroom with a closed see through shower curtain and I could see people inside but I thought they might be fake. I knew someone was watching me. I wanted to run, so I went back into the room where I crawled through the grate. I hear Marc ask me why I was running. My friends started coming out of every room telling me they were star wars characters. I don't remember who anyone was except for Marc who was Darth Vader, and Brian Mysliwy was Obi-Wan. I defintitely know Norm, Jeff Coyle, Lou, Marc, Brian, Nicole and I were there. I told Norm about his tape I listened to, and Jeff and Norm cried. Nicole told us to stop talking about it.
Then, my eyes opened. I had to write all of it down because of how strange it was. Part of me wanted to cry. I had to touch Todd just to make sure I was awake. I didn't want to be in some weird Star Wars, Disney gone porn fun house. Well, especially not without him.
We all had numbers. Not sequentially, just numbers. We got these numbers from these people (women I think) who asked if you wanted to go, then gave you these numbers. There were beds (they looked like massage tables) and huge lights above them in the ceiling, that actually kept going off and on and confusing the women who were giving us the tickets. Some of our family were there. Some of them were crying, others were supportive and smiling. If your number was called, there was light applause. You laid on the table and the women touched your shoulders and spoke words. The women were dressed in these lord of the rings hooded capes. After this short ceremony around your bed, your body shriveled up like a small statue, they wrapped you in something white, and if your family requested you could be given to them as a remembrance. Otherwise, you were thrown in the garbage. At this point, I decide I am not ready for this. I don't want to be thrown in the trash. I tell my friends I am leaving. Then I see Norm. He is laying on the table joking about how he just smoked a huge bowl, and it is interfering with his "treatment". I walk outside to see if I can see anyone I know, and it looks like an amusement park, or festival. People seem to be completely unaware that inside this building, people were killing themselves. But it didn't feel scary. It felt completely normal. I was mad that people were being thrown out, but we all had the choice to go or not go. After seeing Norm being handed off to his Mother, along with other of his belongings (which I cannot remember what they were, but I think water glasses were some of them) I decided to go. All of my friends had gone. I would go to. The head woman handed me a transcript of Norm's passing. They record your experience and allow family to listen if they wish. It is not your suffering, it is them relaying what happened with a soft voice. She had said that Norm fought it. His eyes would open and close, he was smiling. Then he called out for Jesus, said something about Debbie and it was over. My number is called. I don't remember being scared, or the experience at all. I just remember afterwards the room still looked the same, it just looked fuzzy. I saw the woman again. She told me to find my friends. I would have to walk to the other side of the room and find the tunnel that would lead me to them. I found these strange display cases (no idea what was in them), and then found a grate. I opened it and I heard noises. It sounded like people having sex. I get into the main area and I am in some strange fun house. Above me are animatronics having sex, and just a lot of weird funky shit around me. I looked in every room for my friends. I felt like they were there, but every room scared me. There was a bathroom with a closed see through shower curtain and I could see people inside but I thought they might be fake. I knew someone was watching me. I wanted to run, so I went back into the room where I crawled through the grate. I hear Marc ask me why I was running. My friends started coming out of every room telling me they were star wars characters. I don't remember who anyone was except for Marc who was Darth Vader, and Brian Mysliwy was Obi-Wan. I defintitely know Norm, Jeff Coyle, Lou, Marc, Brian, Nicole and I were there. I told Norm about his tape I listened to, and Jeff and Norm cried. Nicole told us to stop talking about it.
Then, my eyes opened. I had to write all of it down because of how strange it was. Part of me wanted to cry. I had to touch Todd just to make sure I was awake. I didn't want to be in some weird Star Wars, Disney gone porn fun house. Well, especially not without him.
posted by Michele at 6:26 AM
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